What made you stop being an addict?

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

What does it mean to dream about demons possessing people, and what can be done about this dream that keeps occurring for years?

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I did it in my administrator's office.

An Interview With A Terminated Analyst At The Substance Abuse And Mental Health Administration - Defector

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

And I can also talk to them now.

Aston Martin announce Stroll to miss Spanish Grand Prix - F1

Read that again ☝️

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

Imagine we could fly into space and take a selfie of our galaxy. This spacecraft made the most detailed map of the Milky Way ever - BBC Sky at Night Magazine

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

Apple quietly makes running Linux containers easier on Macs - ZDNet

This was February 2019.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

Wander Franco’s conviction likely bars return to U.S., attorneys say - Tampa Bay Times

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

Dow Jones Futures Rise, Broadcom Falls After Tesla Crashes On Musk-Trump Feud - Investor's Business Daily

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

Just keep trying

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Rangers stand pat in quiet first night at NHL draft as K’Andre Miller uncertainty lingers - New York Post

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

NFL Declines Comment on Viral Video of Patriots' Stefon Diggs Partying on Boat - Bleacher Report

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

Broadcom CEO On VMware Renewals, VCF Customers And Tomahawk 6 - CRN Magazine

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

Exclusive | New York to Build One of First U.S. Nuclear-Power Plants in Generation - WSJ

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

‘Stronger’ and ‘On Muscle’: What Goes to Work When We Work Out - WSJ

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.